i came home and sat in front of a fire that wasn't going and i burst into tears and i hated so many things and i felt crazy and i looked in the cupboards and i cried some more and i felt like shit and i was weirdly lonely.

fuck you, Hamish.
(nah, i love you)

"do you think we'll be in love forever?"

"i already ate," doesn't work anymore.

then i had to eat, like.

aww, people... no...

i don't even know what i'm saying.

jesus, i'm a shit person. oh well, one week.

i'm sorry, ones that i like

ok, no more. she's better without it, anyway. it'll be the same as last time, she knows. hopefully done better. she will be careful.
you're worth better than that. it will be good. she will be empty. dizzy and amazing, and light and little, and nothing will be left but bones. good enough to love properly and purely and it will be perfect.
nothing will be bad, all control. lovely control. 'till bone.

hungry. hungry. hungry. ow, i'm ok. hungry. faint. dizzy. alright, something small i s'pose. full. no. no no no no no no no. fuck. no. unhappy. unhappy. unhappy.
hungry.

"she knows how to be lovely without having to try. she knows how to love without feeling anything. it's not real, but isn't everyone happy?"

i think it will happen again and i think it will be bad