I'm up well early to meet Hamish in Bathurst. It is... Maybe a little boring. I didn't even bring a scarf. And now I think of it, I'd probably have had time to get a coffee. Also I thought I was gonna miss the bus so I ran, wondering why no one else was doing the same and it wasn't even the right bus and now I'm embarrassed and too ashamed to go back into the waiting room.

Maybe everyone will be interested to know that I also missed that train because it arrived 5 minutes early. Obviously I couldn't be bothered to run but I was still suitably disappointed. I'm pretty bored of most things now. I guess have a really strict diet gives me control and something to do. That's pretty good, anyway I have to stick to it now that I've promised myself I won't purge or cut and if I accidentally eat something and I can't physically hurt myself I'll just be all like 'aw this sucks I'm so horrible why do I do this blah blah' and everyone will get sick of me. Especially me. I just don't wanna be that guy. I'm so not in the mood for thing right now. I have to be a maaan though.

My new meal plan is beautiful and everyone is impressed with me especially kitti she's always going on about it. I'll be 45 in three weeks if I do this properly.
What else is happening... Ah, I missed my train... And I have to get the next one. That's pretty much all that's happened in the last few months. I'm on the pill now so rather than worry why I'm late I'll just pretend I don't have it at all heh heh heh. It'll go away soon anyway.
I got a little message from Dylan and he made me feel bad also I think I agreed to get coffee with him, I can probably just plead idiot when I forget to show up. No that would be mean and he's okay. I owe him money from that time I left the cafe early and he had to pay for everything anyway aw I feel heaps bad okay it's settled. Aw man, I have to walk to the station in like 6 minutes this is bullshit. I feel really lonely this morning. I don't know why. Even lonelier than you ordinarily would be waking up at 5am and walking through the rain to get to an almost deserted station where one man stands with a cigarette dangling from his mouth and the ticket machine isn't giving change and a truck drives past and the fat controller hasn't arrived yet and the train is delayed my 24 minutes and you sit on the steps and drink a black coffee and it's freezing cold even though its justt the fourth day of autumn and that's all pretty lonely so yeah.